Man it's difficult to see your parents age.

[Marty Grass]

Here's my personal advice. Plan on dying. I'm not saying plan on when and how, but keep in mind we only rent space here. That seems obvious, but the "denial of death" is real.

If you love your friends and family, you will unburden them greatly by making as many decisions about end of life and the disposition of your affairs and putting them in writing. If you don't, you do them a disservice. You may not experience what they go through, but a reasonable person can foresee the vulnerability for them in not being explicit and formal. You will have to live the rest of your days knowing that you failed in this regard.

Your possessions are your blessings and your responsibilities. Figure it out.

[garybaldy]

Here's my personal advice. Plan on dying. I'm not saying plan on when and how, but keep in mind we only rent space here. That seems obvious, but the "denial of death" is real.

If you love your friends and family, you will unburden them greatly by making as many decisions about end of life and the disposition of your affairs and putting them in writing. If you don't, you do them a disservice. You may not experience what they go through, but a reasonable person can foresee the vulnerability for them in not being explicit and formal. You will have to live the rest of your days knowing that you failed in this regard.

Your possessions are your blessings and your responsibilities. Figure it out.

I've been going through this with my Mother's estate for the last 3 years. We thought everything was 'sorted' but a once small family solicitor suddenly became a huge conglomerate one feels one is discretely getting fleeced!
It's like the Columbo effect 'Oh! there's just one more thing'!
ps and over £300 an hour!!

[CliffR]

This is a tough thread to read. My best wishes to all going through this or having gone through it. My parents getting old and ill has certainly taken me by surprise. I just got back this afternoon from visiting my dad, who has Parkinsons and dementia and has been living in a care home for years now. For weeks if not months he hasn't recognised me, and recently has been shooting me suspicious looks and not talking to me. Last weekend he collapsed, vomited up blood, and the paramedics reckoned he'd likely be gone in 12-24 hours. He's still here a week later. I was dreading going to visit him today, to be honest, but when I walked through the door he gave me a huge smile and we talked about old times in a way I can't remember us doing for years. He was incredibly lucid and the conversation was not at all one sided. I'm aware that sometimes folks have an up-swing before the end, but I came away really quite moved.

[benhatchins]

Watching parents get older is honestly one of the hardest parts of life. One day you suddenly notice changes that were not there before. I recently helped a younger cousin with school stuff using Knowt https://www.pissedconsumer.com/company/knowt/customer-service.html study tools and it made me think about how quickly time moves for everyone. Family moments become more valuable as people age. Important topic even if it’s emotional. Wishing the best for you and your family.

[MiniMerckx.22]

OP here. I was awakened by an early morning phone call Monday morning, a frantic call misinterpreted made us think my closest friend in OKC had fallen "down" and his girlfriend needed help to pick him up. Rushing out of the house I get another call....don't come to the house we're at the ER, I think he's gone! My friend suffered a GI bleed, passed out and they cound not revive him. Just like that. You just never know.

[sgosnell]

We always know we're going to die, just not when or how. Some are in denial, but denial is not de river in Egypt.

[DawgBone]

OP here. I was awakened by an early morning phone call Monday morning, a frantic call misinterpreted made us think my closest friend in OKC had fallen "down" and his girlfriend needed help to pick him up. Rushing out of the house I get another call....don't come to the house we're at the ER, I think he's gone! My friend suffered a GI bleed, passed out and they cound not revive him. Just like that. You just never know.

Sorry to hear that. I had a similar call about an old bandmate in October of '24. Suddenly fell ill, went to the hospital, fell into a coma, and died a day or so later at 43. I was thankful that I had already had a trip planned there and was able to attend his funeral but it definitely put a damper on my vacation.

[Stringswinger]

I turn 69 this year. I have lost many family members, friends, ex-lovers and pets. The grief can be overwhelming at times (losing my last cat was particularly tough, she was only 10 and cancer took her), but we soldier on.

Life is for the living. And no matter our age, it is later than we think. I think the key is getting to your death bed with few regrets. We have many choices in life. Choose wisely.