Stock reply for a stock joke?

[joe2758]

I work in health care with primarily older patients, a good deal 75-80 y/o.

About 3-4 times a week one of them says "oooouugghh don't get old." All different people all the same joke.

I usually say "I'll do what I can"

But for my personality an ideal response is short dry and at least a little funny.

Here's some of my ideas. I can't bear them all in mind I need to pick maybe 2.


Ill try to find a pause button
classic cars are worth more
i'll write that down
I'll stop if you stop
i'm on the same schedule
the clock is ruthless
I blame birthdays

Favorite ones? Other ideas?

[joe2758]

I have also compiled a list for male patients saying "I forgot to tell you I'm pregnant" or "Don't worry I'm not pregnant"

any jokes you all hear every week at work?

[jazzshrink]

I work in health care with primarily older patients, a good deal 75-80 y/o. About 3-4 times a week one of them says "oooouugghh don't get old." All different people all the same joke. I usually say "I'll do what I can". ...Other ideas?

"the alternative isn't any better"

When my parents were in assisted living, a friend of theirs would always respond to "how are you, Gene?" with "Upright and taking nourishment".

[dconeill]

I work in health care with primarily older patients, a good deal 75-80 y/o.
About 3-4 times a week one of them says "... don't get old." ...[I have several possible responses: ...]
... Other ideas?

As an old fart myself, I can attest that sometimes we run out of ideas, especially when trying to inject a little social lubricant into an interaction with someone we don't know well.

Not every lame joke by a geezer requires a reply.

[joe2758]

I would need writers working for me if I tried to reply to every terrible joke. But this particular one is awkward because it is one of the major sufferings of life.

I can't give an honest reply, I want them to feel like they "injected a little social lubricant." which is why I want some playful stock answers.

It doesn't have the same vibe as "You got a little jack daniels for this barium?"

It is just an awkward joke. None of my coworkers know what to say.

I'm tempted to say "I do hope to die young, but I also have to think about my family. No one can escape old age, sickness, and death. They are rolling in like giant mountains closing in on us in all directions. Any breath could be my last, and if not, it is one breath closer to my last. I'm over the hill, I have started a decline of no return. I don't want to grow old but I have too many responsibilities for an early escape from the torment of being."

Also, If I don't force a chuckle or reply they almost always say "that was SUPPOSED to be funny" Couple times I said "better luck next time"

[Dennis D]

.....Man, there have to be a million - - comebacks etc

'Still taking nourishment ', ' Still have a pulse - I think'...." Got up this morning, looked in the obits, didn't see my name in there, so I got outta bed '

Speaking of obits - did you ever notice how all those people are always dying in alphabetical order ? ( Groucho )

Doc taking a guy's pulse - -' either this man is dead or my watch has stopped '.....

etc etc...

[Mick-7]

Actually, I've heard that death speeds up the aging process tremendously....

I'd say something like, "Oh, that doesn't bother me, I've already picked out my body for my next reincarnation."

[rpjazzguitar]

My mistake. I went looking for the Fountain of Vermouth.

[Dennis D]

" If there's such a thing as reincarnation, with my luck I'll probably come back as myself. "

and / or

" I don't believe in an afterlife, but I do plan on taking a change of underwear. "

Woody Allen

[Bob_Ross]

"the alternative isn't any better"

I like ^^^that. It seems a lot more...realistic?...than my usual reply, which is "it beats the alternative"

[PMB]

" If there's such a thing as reincarnation, with my luck I'll probably come back as myself. "

and / or

" I don't believe in an afterlife, but I do plan on taking a change of underwear. "

Woody Allen

Woody once stated: "I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens".

[alltunes]

“oooouugghh don't get old."

Thanks but I’ll take my chances

[djg]

[Mick-7]

"If there's such a thing as reincarnation, with my luck I'll probably come back as myself."

It's only reincarnation if you come back as yourself, if you don't, it's called incarnation. But if you don't know yourself, you can't tell the difference.

[Dennis D]

It's only reincarnation if you come back as yourself, if you don't, it's called incarnation. But if you don't know yourself, you can't tell the difference.

That sounds like the story of the policeman who ran over himself -

The policeman said to his wife: " Honey, run over to the drugstore and get me a pack of cigarettes. "
And she said no, so he ran over himself....

[thelostboss]

I work in health care with primarily older patients, a good deal 75-80 y/o.

About 3-4 times a week one of them says "oooouugghh don't get old." All different people all the same joke.


Favorite ones? Other ideas?

I'm so unlucky I'll probably be immortal

[Aiq]

Jimmy Bruno said “Don’t get old” in one of his videos but he modified old.

[benhatchins]

so good. Sometimes the simplest jokes or stock replies can get the best reactions. I once had to contact brother phone number when I was troubleshooting a printer, and they were quick to help me out. A quick solution can be just like a good joke—effective and to the point. What’s your go-to stock reply or joke that always makes people laugh