Originally Posted by
2bornot2bop
I can no longer find this thread in the archives.
But who recalls reading “Late night confessions of a guitar pimp?
“Ever observe men agasp in frozen stare while viewing a stunningly beautiful sexy woman in public?
She strolls through a public market or sidewalk Cafe leaving stolen glances in her wake. We men are dogs with metal leashes around our necks whilst she is one powerful magnet. No that last hip thrust wasn't personally directed at you. Stop deluding yourself. Here's a napkin, wipe that drip accumulating on your chin....Just be kewl...Act like you've slow danced before...stop being so obvious in your stare...especially him, as he arises walking away using that newspaper as cover to avoid public embarrassment. Too late for that...you're a walking testimony as to why women think we're slime!
She's like one of those new fangled patio bug zappers on a late hot summer afternoon. Zap, there goes another one...death due to a stare you are. Why death? Because you want her. You desire her. She's in your head...the only question is which. But you can't have her. Not in your wildest dreams! You may as well be a bug on a sidewalk to her. Look, but you can't touch. And you're lusting for her...Badly! In public much less....have we no shame...stop howling woof you drooling fool...quick, someone throw him a milk bone, lest he frighten her away from taking that seat at the corner table!
Remind you of guitars?
Can you say drawn in with no defense?...Even when you're way out of your league. You can't keep your eyes off her swollen curves....behold that silky tanned skin...the anticipation of that first touch. Don't even think about it!
It's how the Universe works you know...you have weaknesses....I'm simply someone who exploits them, by bringing perfect harmony to your existence. Where'd you be without me...a half dozen less in your collection you say...Yes, as if you actually stood a chance. You were toast the moment you glanced her direction much less striking that first note.
Flipper!? Oh spare me....they're your weaknesses...I merely satisfy your innermost urges by placing guitars in titillating poses enough to motivate you to reach for your wallet. Don't blame me..... you're the one with the irresistible urge to caress, fondle, and take her into your slimy undeserving hands. Fact is, you want me out there, scouring the depths of the 'net for hours on end....you need me out there...Nicholson's got nothing on me. I'm a man with an iPhone6 equipped with the latest technology to bring you the finest HD photos money can buy from a camera phone. Whose using who here!
Supplier's my name, and lovin's my game. I'm a guitar pimp!
Wait 'til you feast your eyes on this one! On your knees....it's guitar Mistress night, you spineless fool....don't even look her direction until she's granted you permission.
She says:
"I have the power....and you know you want me. I am, irresistible. In fact I'm the finest guitar you've not yet played. Furthermore, I'm finer than the grandest of orgasms and will most certainly bring far longer lasting pleasure. You know you can't resist the sensation of wood against wood.
Besides, what has that Raven haired buxom beauty in the short skirt, with legs going to infinity, got that I haven't? She doesn't want you. Me you can have....for a price...and a small price to pay it is too, especially for the never ending pleasures I bring.
So, what do you say big boy - Is that a sock full of picks you're carrying down there or are you simply happy to see me?"
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