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  1. #1

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    Ok, I'm posting this here due to feedback on another thread suggesting that people don't check out the composition forum. I originally posted it there because it is essentially a composition as opposed to a "performance" to showcase technical playing skills etc.

    I'm not seeking props, more like objective criticism of the composition itself (development of theme, whatever you see fit) and/or suggestions on instrumentation / orchestration, especially for the lead voice (trumpet, clarinet, etc).

    Of the three sections, the last is the most obviously jazzy.

    Thanks ahead for any feedback.


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  3. #2

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    I like this quite a bit, naturally-- its got a bunch of country twang to it.

    Has a bit of a Metheny/mellow Dixie Dregs take in the middle...this is the kind of stuff I like to listen to.

  4. #3

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    I thought the country influence was rather more subtle. Needs a rethink, then

    Thanks for your reply, and for making me check out Dixie Dregs.

  5. #4

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    Probably just multiple clean guitars, but it sounded very "guitaristic," so I didn't really picture other instruments taking the melody...that's not a bad thing in my world, guitar is not a dirty word.

    I like the idea of a 3 part tune, building on a writing is very sporadic, but I've never tried anything like that...

    Re: Dregs, a lot of it is over the top, but they have moments, and they did better unison time figures than anybody save for maybe mahavishnu (and they were cleaner)

  6. #5

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    Nice composition, Peter.

    I'm with Jeff regarding the lead voice - I think the lines sit on guitar better than they would on a wind instrument.

    It would be great to hear this performed by a full band.

    The third section reminds me of Mike Moreno's work a bit and his recordings may be a good reference for orchestration and arranging tunes with multiple sections.

    Great to hear more of your work!

  7. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Peter C
    ... suggestions on instrumentation / orchestration...
    The way I hear your tune and sound preferences I think you should consider adding some ambience. Maybe add a human voice and some not too agressive synth sounds to widen the sonic range. Especially for part 1 and/or 3 if you have a melodic "story to tell" with an opening, a main plot and a closing part somehow.

  8. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by kris
    There is my new tune "Untitled Bossa".I would like to create atmosphere by compose easy melody and a little different harmony.
    I/ve used nylon strings guitar-small body A.Sanchez.

    I like bossa and I like your take on it. Considering the recent actions on the forum Peter C. will probably get a lot of action on his composition. If you would like specific feedback on your contribution you should consider to dedicate a separate thread to it. It deserves so.

  9. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by teeps
    I like bossa and I like your take on it. Considering the recent actions on the forum Peter C. will probably get a lot of action on his composition. If you would like specific feedback on your contribution you should consider to dedicate a separate thread to it. It deserves so.
    I did are right.
    Thanks for nice coment.

  10. #9

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    Just to let you guys know that I'm poring over these responses, they're extremely useful to me. I'm surrounded by good people in my life, they just don't happen to be musicians.

    Mr B, you're a good sport man, after me raggin on about country music I have heard a clarinet playing that part and liked it. Interesting that you hear it as very guitaristic. Note taken. I have other pieces which evolved in a similar manner.

    Thanks for taking the time to post again Ric. I would indeed dearly love to hear this played by a small orchestra. I've put out feelers locally.... some asked me if there's any money in it. I have less idea than them in that regard. Cheers, and thanks for your support.

    Wow teeps, I'm going to study your response. Just what I was looking for. Thank you!!

    Kris, ok. Yes, follow teeps' advice and post it separately. You could say: Untitled Bossa, an original tune. This is a new composition of mine called "Untitled Bossa". I wanted to create an atmosphere by way of a simple melody and a different harmonic approach. Played on a small-bodied nylon string guitar (made by A. Sanchez?). - Just suggestions to help you out with the lingo.

  11. #10

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    I enjoyed it. On a smartphone it sounded good already. It tends to sound as 3 different tunes maybe because the transitions between them are too quiet. But it's ok for me as I usually enjoy the "suite" arrangements.

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  12. #11

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    Thanks for your comments matcarsa. This was definitely conceived as a kind of short suite (as in short and sweet). The transitions are (intended as) a clear link between each part, but you're right in that the volume is too low. I spent way too many hours at night working on this and another 4 pieces and finally had to call it a day, so there are a few technical issues.

  13. #12

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    I like the 3 part approach. What I have learned is that mixing is a very difficult task, since it depends on what kind of audio equipment your target audience is listening on. On my KRK studio monitors, it sounds great - possibly a little bass heavy, but not bad. On my Bose speakers, the mid-tones are more emphasized, and a little more bass could have been used. But the phrasing and chord sequences are very entertaining, and you have much better playing skills than I do. But nevermind, I have good listening skills.

  14. #13

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    I enjoyed this. It has a complexity that draws me in but it rewards me in the right places. For reasons I cannot even explain it kept making me think of Pat Metheny's project The Way Up that was a unified extended suite. A very exciting (to me) piece of music, which I was able to hear in a live early (they were still using charts!) performance. I actually liked it as it is, but I can see how you could extend the orchestration, and I could imagine a flugelhorn playing the top line melody in places.

  15. #14

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    Sunjamr, I did this on a very modest little notebook and probably mixed it around 3 a.m. wearing earbuds! Anyway, it is a demo. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

    Lawson, very interesting, well-worded comments. So, you hear a horn as a lead voice? Definitely going to give that a go at some time.

    Again, thanks everyone for the helpful feedback! Cheers