Can I use this phrase in a song, I wonder

[fep]

The song is about my buddy going through cancer treatment.

The phrase in question:

"The darkest hour is just before the dawn."

The English theologian and historian Thomas Fuller appears to be the first person to commit the notion that 'the darkest hour is just before the dawn' to print. (Thomas Fuller died in 1662)

CSNY Long Time Gone excerpt:

"But you know, the darkest hour,
Is always just before the dawn."

Maybe I should just reword the phrase.

[BigDaddyLoveHandles]

It's a bit of a cliche.

[fep]

It's a bit of a cliche.

Yeah, so I can use it. Most people like cliches if they fit I think, if the shoe fits, wear it.

[Doctor Jeff]

It's a bit of a cliche.

Just because it's a cliche doesn't mean it isn't true!

Dylan used the phrase in Meet Me in the Morning, and there is also a song sung by Emmylou Harris which I think was written by Ralph Stanley called The Darkest Hour Is Just Before Dawn. So I guess we know where Bob Dylan and David Crosby got it from, don't we? (Maybe Dylan saw it in a book of Italian poetry from the 15th century...)

I say go for it!

BTW Elvis C gives his consent: "This is fine by me, Billy. It's how rock and roll works. You take the broken pieces of another thrill and make a brand new toy. That's what I did. #subterreaneanhomesickblues #toomuchmonkeybusiness." And #pumpitup ---> #brutal (Olivia Rodrigo song).

[citizenk74]

Put your own spin on it, is my advice. You'll find more rhymes for "hour" than "dawn." Good luck!

[BigDaddyLoveHandles]

Just because it's a cliche doesn't mean it isn't true!

I think "The darkest hour is just before the dawn" is literally false, at least at my latitude. I'm an insomniac and I am often am awake to watch the dawn. It's light just before the dawn.

Maybe a line about how darkness lets you see the Northern Lights?

[Doctor Jeff]

I'm thinking "Just before dawn I see the darkness in my soul." With a coupla minor chords there.

[Doctor Jeff]

Sitting in my living room,
Smoking a bowl.
It seems that just before dawn,
I see the darkness in my soul.

I started out fine,
I was on a roll.
She was sweet, and
Kinda made me feel whole.

But then reality hit,
Smacked me good with a pole.
I lost her to something
I could not control.

That's the way it goes.
You gotta pay the toll.
But it don't cost nothing
To see the darkness in your soul.

Just a suggestion. If you want to borrow all or part of it, just mention me in the liner notes.

[BigDaddyLoveHandles]

Sitting in my living room,
Smoking a bowl.
It seems that just before dawn,
I see the darkness in my soul.

I started out fine,
I was on a roll.
She was sweet, and
Kinda made me feel whole.

But then reality hit,
Smacked me good with a pole.
I lost her to something
I could not control.

That's the way it goes.
You gotta pay the toll.
But it don't cost nothing
To see the darkness in your soul.

Just a suggestion. If you want to borrow all or part of it, just mention me in the liner notes.

Some other rhymes for soul: drole, troll, español.

[fep]

Sitting in my living room,
Smoking a bowl.
It seems that just before dawn,
I see the darkness in my soul.

I started out fine,
I was on a roll.
She was sweet, and
Kinda made me feel whole.

But then reality hit,
Smacked me good with a pole.
I lost her to something
I could not control.

That's the way it goes.
You gotta pay the toll.
But it don't cost nothing
To see the darkness in your soul.

Just a suggestion. If you want to borrow all or part of it, just mention me in the liner notes.

I like your tune, maybe change that one line, smacked me good with a pole. You should put it to music.

Funny that he has continued to be a weed smoker since high school, that part of the tune fits. But had became mostly an alcoholic, then had to give that up completely, then just smoked weed. I had tried to get him to go to edibles instead for his health. "I don't like the high", was his response.

Esophageal cancer, lost his voice box to surgery, now breathes through a hole in his neck, can't talk, just finished radiation and chemo about 10 days ago. The affects of the treatment are hitting hard right now.

And he doesn't smoke now. When I visited him I brought him some edibles.

[MarkRhodes]

The phrase also appears in "Dedicated to the One I Love"

[Doctor Jeff]

I like your tune, maybe change that one line, smacked me good with a pole. You should put it to music.

Funny that he has continued to be a weed smoker since high school, that part of the tune fits. But had became mostly an alcoholic, then had to give that up completely, then just smoked weed. I had tried to get him to go to edibles instead for his health. "I don't like the high", was his response.

Esophageal cancer, lost his voice box to surgery, now breathes through a hole in his neck, can't talk, just finished radiation and chemo about 10 days ago. The affects of the treatment are hitting hard right now.

And he doesn't smoke now. When I visited him I brought him some edibles.

The only music that comes to mind right now is Steely Dan "I fear the monkey in your soul..."

[Doctor Jeff]

Back to the OP here's a song that Pete Seeger wrote:

Don't you know it's darkest before the dawn?
And it's this thought keeps me moving on.
If we could heed these early warnings
The time is now quite early morning.

He dedicated this song to Haiti when he sang it back in the 70's.

[fep]

The only music that comes to mind right now is Steely Dan "I fear the monkey in your soul..."

Such a great line.

I took that Pat Pattison songwriting course on Coursera back when it was free...

He had a few lessons on rhymes that really opened things up.
Pole, soul, control, toll, perfect rhymes but when you go for the near rhymes you get so many choices

Subtractive rhymes like though, throw, know, blow, although, crow, hollow, oh no

Or just us words that end with the "L" sound, infallible, feeble, crucible, missile, kill, pill, thrill, dull

If I looked at my class notes, there's be a lot more, it almost endless.

Hmmm, bone... cut me to the bone (I guess I like cliches)