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Originally Posted by joelf
bravo
cheers
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01-24-2020 12:29 AM
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So much good advice here that there's hardly anything new I can add. Here's a try, though...
Seeing a live performance by a musician you really love can re-spark musical joy and motivation. Maybe you can treat yourself to attending a concert by someone who really inspires you. Do it before your thesis, not as a carrot at the end of the stick. Make yourself happy NOW. Your tank is empty; fill it up so you have joy to bring to your own performance.
The other thing that hasn't been mentioned is that being a pro means playing like you mean it, even when you don't really mean it :-) Perhaps this is an opportunity to sharpen your workmanlike abilities to play musically even when internal or external conditions are suboptimal.
Even so, don't neglect yourself. All the advice about talking with friends, sleep, exercise, and a healthy routine is good advice.
One last thing: maybe you can try melatonin to help you get to sleep on time and sleep through the night.
Good luck, and please keep us posted on how things are going.
SJ
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Wow maybe I'm wired differently than most? But for me there is NOTHING I enjoy doing more than playing my instrument and making music, NOTHING. The ONLY thing that rivals it for me is love making, that's the truth. Sure there are other things that I enjoy but there is a significant gap between that enjoyment and the enjoyment I get from playing/mastering my instrument. One thing I really like is that no matter how good I get I always feel like there will be more to learn, even better I can get. There will be another technique I can learn and master, another chord or linear lick I can come up with, another song I can learn or write. I can take forays off into other styles, come back and incorporate some of that into my fusion playing if I like, play different types of guitars and explore what different things those bring out in my playing, electric, acoustic steel string, nylon string, 12 string, baritone guitar, etc. Examine different possibilities with different ALT tuning's, finding different ways to reinterpret melodies that I already have learned. Improve the sight reading, fretboard knowledge, a deeper look at music theory, and more. No matter how good I get I know there will always be new exciting things I can learn on guitar to challenge myself to get even better, I really like that part of it. Just goes to show how different people have different affinities. I went through a period of dealing with depression and playing more/learning more/getting better on my instrument was the best therapy ever. Playing is the cure for depression for me, even the practicing part.
Hopefully you'l be able to reignite your passion. Taking a break from it for a while is probably a good idea. I've done that before at different times. Never "too" long though or you start to regress. Then when you're ready come back to it fresh. Also take a visit to the Doc and get on some anti-depressant meds, those actually help A LOT. and also take the time to meet with a counselor or psychologist to talk about it. I've dealt with serious depression before so I know that it's no laughing matter. Left undiagnosed or untreated clinical depression can be very debilitating. Go get some meds, they increase your endorphins, the hormones that make you feel happy and are even natural pain killers. Also talking to a trained psychologist may help you uncover what's bothering you psychologically or reveal some ways to lift your spirits. Good luck
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I remember a few times when I was tired from work or practiced too many stupid arps.. or just in a bad mood.
And only looking at the guitar made me feel even worse. Still decided to pick it up and something very nice happened.
This is rare though. I suspect it had something to do with stopping tryharding and pretending.
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I have to say that as an amateur, I cannot ever remember picking up the guitar without wanting to pick it up. It has never been an obligation for me, though I do feel the impulse to improve, to work at it. But it has always been the wind, not the anchor, in my life.
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Originally Posted by lawson-stone
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When I was in the Jazz Studies Master's program at IU I had a serious issue with depression and everyone there was very kind and worked with me through it. Universities are used to dealing with these issues, especially in performance degrees. Talk to your department and I suspect all will be well.
I've been living with a tremendous amount of stress the last few years. I sit in my studio and I stare at my guitars and basses and feel guilty for not playing/practicing. 3 months ago, on a lark, I answered an ad for a double bassist. I auditioned and ended up getting the gig. Now I play 1 day a week and during those sessions I forget everything else and just love playing the bass. The other 6 days I deal with the stuff in my life and still feel guilty for not practicing. I'm not depressed, I'm just stressed out and overwhelmed by life right now. That one day a week is my reality break. Eventually, I hope to get back to playing guitar, but for now, the double bass is my instrument of joy and choice. Sounds like the piano is yours. Everything changes eventually. That thought is what keeps me going.
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01-26-2020, 09:31 PM #33joelf Guest
Originally Posted by neatomic
On a less metaphysical, purely ego level, though (LOL), it helps to have a few things go our way professionally. That can lift the fog of depression...
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Originally Posted by joelf
agree, tho i'd say on a comfort/ego/financial level its a good thing..but when you done good...artistically...you know it...and that's the greatest satisfaction! if someone tells you, you played great...and you didnt feel it yourself...their opinion will be questioned in your soul!
sometimes it takes time to break thru to the next level...but when you do...wow!! what rumi type ecstasy
cheers
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01-26-2020, 09:51 PM #35joelf Guest
Originally Posted by neatomic
In fact, it's a 'rumi with a Jew'...
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go sit on your sufi..er, sofa
haha
cheers
ps- next we'll be doin soupy sales pafalafaka schtick!Last edited by neatomic; 01-26-2020 at 10:16 PM.
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01-27-2020, 12:52 AM #37joelf Guest
Originally Posted by neatomic
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Major depression is a serious health problem. It affects up to 25% of the population in the course of a lifetime. In some people this is short-lived and resolves fairly quickly; in other people they can be recurrent or quite long lasting. In some people it's relatively mild, and other people that is disabling. When I am working my way around to is saying it should be taken seriously and seeking professional assistance may be advisable (especially if one is having suicidal thoughts). Most colleges and universities have counseling services available- problems such as depression often first manifest around that age and under those stresses- and that might be one helpful option for the OP.
Medications may or may not be necessary or helpful; cognitive behavioral therapy is often helpful. With either treatment, within a year about 40% of people have achieved remission, another 40% are improved and another 20% are still struggling; with combination of medications and cognitive therapy, that goes up to about 90% of people who experience remission or improvement. The fundamental premise there is that when people are depressed they tend to think in certain patterns and that those patterns of thoughts can be changed, resulting in improved mood.
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01-27-2020, 10:56 PM #39joelf Guest
I'm surprised no one's mentioned depression's possibly eviler twin: anxiety. This is a topic deserving of its own thread.
Fear is art's staunch enemy. When you're jammed with anxiety---especially in the live performing arts---flow can go right into the toilet. (No doubt a major reason for substance use/abuse among performers: the desire for the 'buffer effect'). Oh, you can turn it around into a different, more useful energy---but you have to acknowledge and understand it first.
I've been a lifelong sufferer from this. I never know when it'll show its ugly head. But when you perform often enough you can get through and get over. Focusing and forms of meditating on the bigger picture, thinking thoughts that will connect you to that energy---some would say spirit realm---and get you past your ego and quotidian feelings---will definitely help. But to me the real solution is right there in the music: listen! Listen to what's going on with the other players on the stand (or even in an apartment---same idea). Listening is what we're supposed to do----and it will focus you on the real moment, and focus away from anxiety.
I had a good gig today: my duo-mate, Ray Macchiarolla, is a favorite player of mine. I felt a little tight and nervous first set. Wasn't up to snuff in my head. That's normal---and sort of my point. You come to the gig with your street nerves (or worse) and everything else that's on your mind. Maybe it takes a set or part of a set to get with the program---and the music. Ray sounded so good, and the people (in a hospital lobby, of all places!) were responsive enough that soon enough I was like an observer with the music playing me.
I'm not trying to minimize the influence of anxiety on artists (or anyone else). Read my first paragraph. It can be as crippling as depression and can morph into a very serious illness, left unchecked. Nor do I suggest that there's an easy cure for it, or for anything. It takes work----years of work. Learning to cope with and overcome these emotional blocks takes as least as much practice as learning an instrument. But practice makes perfect---and there's always hope. And always tomorrow...
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Thanks for all the sincere advice that everyone has put out! I did what many suggested, and I just sat with the guitars at all times when at home. Sure enough, in the past few days, I feel a spark again. I've just always had the guitar in my lap since the last time I posted, always noodling. I am now so motivated that I have begun doing actual exercises and the likes. Even started a few tunes for my now selected, extremely narrow bachelor topic (which you'll find in another thread in here), and am transcribing some solo phrases. Thanks again.
I'd like to clarify that my depressive symptoms have now -subsided-, although I'm sure we'll meet again. I had a major depressive episode in high school too.
I'm also doing the lifestyle things. Getting up early consistently (except today, slept extremely poorly and have the day off so it didn't matter), eating much healthier like I did in the better times of my life, and so on.
Check out my other thread if you want to help me out with my thesis, if it's something you wanna chat about
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01-29-2020, 05:25 PM #41joelf Guest
Quick: Glad you're feeling better, and glad you took the advice you asked for. Some good souls on here pitched in.
And, yes, it will come again---and leave again, the way it came. You know what to do now when (if? let's hope) that day comes.
Straight ahead, and all the best...
(Joel Fass)
Rahsaan Roland Kirk
Yesterday, 11:05 PM in The Players