Joke thread

[steve burchfield]

HOW DO YOU GET A GUITAR PLAYER TO TURN DOWN? PUT A CHART IN FRONT OF HIM!

[Eck]

Difference between a jazz guitarist and a pop guitarist. One plays 1000s of chords for an audience of 3, the other plays 3 chords in front of an audience of 1000s. This is an exaggeration: pop songs have a max of 2 chords nowadays.


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[PMB]

An oldie:

Teen goes to confession.

'Bless me, Father, for I have sinned'.

'Oh, my son! What did you do?'

'Well, I, uh, masturbated'.

'My son, don't you know that can make you go blind?!'

'Well, um,---Father, can I just do it til I need glasses?'...

Guy goes to the doctor for a physical examination.

"You'll have to stop masturbating".

"Why is that, Doc'?

"Because I'm trying to give you a physical examination".

[PMB]

An Irishman who moves to the US, enters a bar and orders three beers. He quietly drinks them all and leaves. This becomes a daily occurrence. The bartender finally asks:

"Do you mind if I ask why you always order three beers for yourself in a single sitting"?

"Well", he answers, "my brothers and I used to have a daily beer back in Ireland. Now that I've moved here on my own, I've decided to carry on the tradition and buy two extras for each of my brothers".

This ritual goes on for some months until one day, the man enters the bar and orders only two beers. The place becomes silent and the bartender says:

"I'm sorry for your loss" to which the man replies:

"Oh no, both my brothers are fine, I just decided to quit drinking".





Edit or delete this

[Doctor Jeff]

Guy goes to the doctor for a physical examination.

"You'll have to stop masturbating".

"Why is that, Doc'?

"Because I'm trying to give you a physical examination".

This might be the time to tell you the story I heard of the guy who used to go into the Grady ER for his monthly prostate massage. He was always assigned to the medical student.

Or maybe not. I’m sure you can guess what happened in the end.