Beyond Viagra: a humorous lyric

[joelf]

Back in '08 I had an insanely funny day-long adventure waaay out East with the late Teddy Charles. The day started thusly: He said 'Hey, Fass: dial this # and ask for Julius Gubenko'. 'Wha?' 'DO IT, KID!'.

So he's on the phone with the man better known as Terry Gibbs. The ensuing discussion was, er, on the blue side---like they were still 20-somethings hangin' in front of Birdland. I really had to bite my lip. But one line I can repeat from 81-year-old Teddy:

'I'm beyond Viagra. All I can do is dream'.

So slow-on-the-uptake me 13 years later finally realized what lyric gold that was. A song was born---imagined in the car, written down at work today:

Beyond Viagra Joel Fass © 2021 Exemplar (ASCAP)

(Verse: rubato) Some guys have all the luck
Living life with pluck, their dreams aloft;
While others seem to just get stuck,
Their luck turns hard ‘cause something else turned soft
So I’m be----

(Slow, light swing tempo)
-Yond Viagra, all I can do is dream
Aggravated ‘cause in the sack I can no more make ‘em scream

Cancel that trip to Niagra, babe, ‘cause far as I can tell
Those falls in Niagra ain’t the only thing that fell

[B] If you ask me ‘bout my sex life
It’s true I still got the gumption
Yes, the spirit’s plenty willing
But the flesh has got ‘erectile dysfunction’

A must to drag ya, I’m known as ‘Pleasure’s Death Knell'
And like the boy who fell deep into the well
Beyond Viagra’s sure to stay for a long, long spell
(Old erections never die, they just faaade away)

[Flat]

Well, at least writing good lyrics is hard.

(sorry. couldn't resist ;-)

[Woody Sound]

Reminds me of the time I took my father @ ~89 to his urologist. He asked my dad about his sex life. Dad looked at me and laughed and said “you gotta be kidding.”

[joelf]

Reminds me of the time I took my father @ ~89 to his urologist. He asked my dad about his sex life. Dad looked at me and laughed and said “you gotta be kidding.”

'My wife likes to talk during sex. Why, the other night she called me from a Holiday Inn'

'Last night I took my wife out to a restaurant. I made a toast to the best woman a man ever had. The waiter came over and joined me'.

Rodney Dangerfield...

[joelf]

Well, at least writing good lyrics is hard.

(sorry. couldn't resist ;-)

What else would I expect from a guy called 'Flat'? (;