How to come back from a bad show?

**KillBill** · 09-03-2014, 09:50 AM

I've been playing and writing music for awhile, and the band I'm in has played less then ten shows. I played a pretty bad show recently, and was just wondering if that's happened to anyone else, and how they might've come back from that? It was a seven song set of originals that I had written, I was sick, most of my band was sick......but it all feels like a bunch of useless excuses. Basically, all the songs were ok except for the second to last one. At maybe about 20 seconds in I just blanked.......and I made the stupidest choice to just start over. They're difficult and fast songs, but that's never happened to me and I'm having a hard time letting it go even though everyone said it was no big deal. I get really anxious on stage anyway, but does anyone have advice, has this happened before, or am I the only one?

**pubylakeg** · 09-03-2014, 10:09 AM

**KillBill** · 09-03-2014, 10:14 AM

Thanks. Easier said than done, but I'm sure I'll get over it eventually.

**jasaco** · 09-03-2014, 10:55 AM

Have you read "Effortless Mastery" by Kenny Werner? Highly recommended in your situation.

TH · 09-03-2014, 10:57 AM

There was a similar thread not so long ago, anyone have that link? My thought is you'll look at this as one learning experience. When you get over the emotional shock of disappointment, you'll realize:
1) The audience all got out unharmed. And I dare say with a much better memory of the experience than you.
2) There are things you'll see were really useful that you can learn from, like attitude. Attitude has a lot to do with whether things will come together or not. You can't take it for granted. You practice a good attitude. It pays off.
3) The more work you do, the less the bad ones matter, the more important the experience between you, the band and the audience becomes. Notes are there to keep things moving, but the real lessons will be with your ability to share.
4) You'll learn what to focus on to get you into the zone. Awareness of the band as a whole, time, breath, making people comfortable...
5) You will have bad nights. Celebrate your honesty in playing to your ups and downs, and learn that being a professional means keeping honest and hanging in there.

I'll bet you felt the worst of anyone. That means they all had a better time than you. Nothing can take away the sting, just keep moving. Playing right now, for your own comfort, will be a good exercise in finding your music again, and you'll be that much stronger next time.
Welcome to being a working musician. You've just earned an important step in that world! Congratulations.
David

**pubylakeg** · 09-03-2014, 11:02 AM

Ah well, I suppose the important thing is to identify what it was that you felt particularly unhappy about, and then to avoid repeating the same action. We learn from experience. Good or Bad. Regard it as a learning experience.

I do sympathise regarding feeling anxious/nervous before/during a performance. That's definitely a topic worthy of discussion here.
You'll probably take the experience a lot harder because those were your own tunes you were playing. You will probably have a lot more emotional investment in the performance than the people around you. That isn't necessarily a bad thing.
I used to get really nervous before going onstage. I found this diminished the more often I performed. It helps to recognise anxiety as being detrimental to a good performance. Because it's a subconcious, involuntary response, it helps to recognise it as soon as it's affecting you.
Try to make some conscious effort to relax before going onstage, whether by stretching or deep breathing. Shallow breathing, and muscular tension make performance more difficult. Do the same thing after the first tune. Just take a moment to yourself to analyse or correct your own posture, and your surroundings, check your guitar strap, look at your band mates, look at the audience. Distract yourself into breaking the panic mode mind set. Take control. If necessary, remind yourself that you're (probably) the best guitarist in the room. Humour is very good for breaking tension. Share a joke with the audience. They'll enjoy it too. Oh yeah ... and avoid intoxicants.

The next positive spin is to realise YOUR NEXT GIG IS GOING TO BE BETTER THAN EVER.

All The Best,
Puby.

**KillBill** · 09-03-2014, 11:11 AM

Thank you both for the really great advice, I'll be sure to put it into practice and get myself to relax more onstage

**SuperFour00** · 09-03-2014, 11:11 AM

There was an outdoor Jazz festival, maybe Montreux or Newport, can't remember ... Kenny Burrell was on stage with Ray Charles and an all-star band. Ray was cranky, rushing like hell, and yelling insults at the rest of the band over the mic. Kenny looked like he wanted to just be somewhere else. It was painful to watch and sounded pretty bad. Ray was shouting things like "Big-time Jazz mutha******* can't keep up with me!!" I guess anybody can have a bad show.

The worst case is, nowdays, you never know who is video-ing you with their phone and posting to youtube. Happened to a composer I know; got recorded at a gig where he went blank on his own tune and just vegged on the intro for five minutes before falling apart. Oops.

**KillBill** · 09-03-2014, 12:30 PM

Wow, that sounds pretty rough. Fortunately I didn't fall apart, I just got kind of angry at myself and started the song over. I still got it wrong, no one really could tell that I played a riff twice as long as I should've, but since I'm a little older than some of the people that go to those shows......it just felt even more embarrassing. But the more I think about it, the more I know it's only a few minutes out of my life. I've just always been told that the worst thing to do is to stop, and that you should just keep going. Usually I'd just keep going, but something about that night made me stop and start over.

TH · 09-03-2014, 02:00 PM

Let me share a little story. I went to a concert, a classical piano recital. The pianist was doing some modern piece by a Mexican composer, really challenging and really out. I struggled the whole first movement to get a handle on the piece and I could feel it in the performer. By the time we got to the next movement, he was rattled, and as a musician I could feel it. But I looked around and to most of the people around me, it was just music and they were happy to be there.
Suddenly he stopped. He looked dazed. He announced that he was going to skip over the next section completely and after an uncomfortable silence, began in another equally nebulous section of the unfamiliar piece. He had violated every rule of concert performance. At the end, I was on my feet.
A recital is a performance. Music is something really human. I've seen a lifetime's performances since then but I will always remember that concert. That was heroic, it was amazing that he got it together and finished. I put that memory up there with the best experiences I've ever had with music and I wish I knew who he is so I could thank him.
He'd be comforted in knowing I don't know who he is. But in my memory, this was the most amazing and utterly human story that could have come from naked music that really transcended anything he could have done playing that piece "as written."
We all get something different from a performance. It's the human act we are touched by the most deeply.
David

**rkwestcoast** · 09-03-2014, 02:43 PM

If nothing caught fire
No one was murdered
And you got paid

It wasn't that bad a gig

**KillBill** · 09-03-2014, 03:16 PM

Thank you both....and no, nothing caught on fire and no one happened to be killed that night......so I guess it was a good show

**woland** · 09-03-2014, 03:35 PM

You think that was bad?
My very first gig ever - we played "Hey Joe" and I thought that while we had some issues with ending it together it went reasonably well - it was LOUD and "Hendrix'y". Well close enough. Then during the second the second song the spontaneous collection started by some audience members to pay us to just get off the stage.... No big deal - since we only practiced for like 2hrs before the gig.

**SuperFour00** · 09-03-2014, 03:38 PM

Originally Posted by rkwestcoast

If nothing caught fire
No one was murdered
And you got paid

It wasn't that bad a gig

I was at a gig once in a sketchy neighborhood where the Bass player literally got stabbed to death in the parking lot by his brother. As soon as the questioning was over, the band started up again ... luckily there was a good Bass player in the audience that night to fill in. I don't play in that hood any more. Long time ago.

Also really played a biker bar once where they locked us into a chain-link kennel like the movie Roadhouse. Nothing went horribly wrong, we were just hoping the guy with the key didn't forget about us. Those were the days.

**KillBill** · 09-03-2014, 04:21 PM

Damn!!! Those for sure top my night....... That's so rude for the crowd to take up a collection to get you guys to stop. I hope the experiences just got better after that.

**pubylakeg** · 09-03-2014, 05:43 PM

Originally Posted by woland

You think that was bad?
My very first gig ever - we played "Hey Joe" and I thought that while we had some issues with ending it together it went reasonably well - it was LOUD and "Hendrix'y". Well close enough. Then during the second the second song the spontaneous collection started by some audience members to pay us to just get off the stage.... No big deal - since we only practiced for like 2hrs before the gig.

I know a local musician. I'll call him "M". A singer/guitarist. He regularly tells a story about playing an afternoon gig in a bar for a crowd of oil rig fabrication yard workers, back in the 80's, (during the big money oil boom). The crowd had been drinking since finishing their night shift that morning. One of the crowd decided to show their distaste for the music, and entertain their friends, by walking up to the stage, and throwing up over "M" mid song.
Classy...really classy.

**Michael Kaye** · 09-03-2014, 05:43 PM

We should start a nightmare gig thread.......we've all had 'em I'm sure, lol

i had a pretty good cover band - dance variety - a good mix of club music. We got a gig at a new club and were looking forward to getting an in at this reputable club. 2 hours before the gig my drummer got very sick. I called EVERYBODY I knew to find a replacement. Everybody's busy. Names and numbers get passed around. Calls made. I finally get someone - I don't know him.

Not only does he show up with the worst POS drum set but he literally only knows 1 drum beat - and it's not the right one, lol. What follows is the ugliest excuse for a gig I'd ever scene. I'm trying to teach this guy beats before each tune and he keeps falling back on this one beat. I was tearing my hair out and I'm sure I looked the fool up there but it was pathetic. I actually stopped him from playing on half the tunes. Talk about slinking away out the back door from a gig.

you live and learn, somebody once said...

**SuperFour00** · 09-03-2014, 09:59 PM

Originally Posted by pubylakeg

I know a local musician. I'll call him "M". A singer/guitarist. He regularly tells a story about playing an afternoon gig in a bar for a crowd of oil rig fabrication yard workers, back in the 80's, (during the big money oil boom). The crowd had been drinking since finishing their night shift that morning. One of the crowd decided to show their distaste for the music, and entertain their friends, by walking up to the stage, and throwing up over "M" mid song.
Classy...really classy.

Once in a 1%er biker bar, a big hairy club member peed in the tip jar. We gave the tips to the drummer. He actually washed the money in the men's room. Didn't seem funny at the time.

**jasaco** · 09-03-2014, 11:25 PM

Originally Posted by SuperFour00

I was at a gig once in a sketchy neighborhood where the Bass player literally got stabbed to death in the parking lot by his brother. As soon as the questioning was over, the band started up again ... luckily there was a good Bass player in the audience that night to fill in.

Excuuuse me? Your bass player just got stabbed to death so you conveniently grabbed another one from the audience and the show went on?? Man! I sure don't think I could do that. That's what I call a rough night at the office!

**SuperFour00** · 09-03-2014, 11:40 PM

Thought I posted a reply to that, but here goes: I wasn't the bandleader, I gave my word I'd do the gig, the bandleader was pretty tough, I needed the money, I was young.

**jasaco** · 09-03-2014, 11:44 PM

Originally Posted by SuperFour00

Thought I posted a reply to that, but here goes: I wasn't the bandleader, I gave my word I'd do the gig, the bandleader was pretty tough, I needed the money, I was young.

You weren't the first bassist's brother, were you? (Sorry, bad joke...)

**KillBill** · 09-04-2014, 02:40 AM

This "nightmare" gigs thread seems like it's off and running

**Rob MacKillop** · 09-04-2014, 04:57 AM

I played a lute recital once in a rough area. It was a very quiet, unamplified classical gig. Suddenly one guy jumped up and shouted, "If you play one more note, I'll smash your f**king face in!". I don't know what possessed me, as I'm the least violent person I know. I said, "Sit down. Shut the f**k up. Listen." I got a huge applause, and played beautifully. Only afterwards did I start shaking. The guy sat through the whole gig without saying another word. Weird.

**KillBill** · 09-04-2014, 08:07 AM

That's a pretty fair reaction, and it's good that the guy listened. I'm sure it would've been a shame for you to have to hit him over the head with your lute.

**rkwestcoast** · 09-06-2014, 10:28 AM

Bad gigs are great for mistake based learning - if you can step back from the emotion of a bad gig & analysis what happened - it can be worth it's weight in gold in terms of highlighting what areas you need to work on and how you can improve your playing.....

Plus bad gigs make for more interesting anecodotes!!! - what can you say about a good gig? It was great - we were cooking - the crowd loved us - however lunatics threatening lute players etc are always more interesting....