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Hi guys,
as some of you know I've been a pro classical guitarist for a long time. However, that was a previous life and after a pretty long time not playing at all I picked up the instrument again a couple of years back. Started playing pop/rock with some cover bands, but pretty soon aimed my arrows at jazz.
Last april I started taking lessons again and told my teacher that my aim was to be able to play along on one of the local jams before the end of the year. It's a session I attend every week, but I've not joined in yet.
So last Friday I felt that deadline approaching, took my guitar along and joined in for one song, the Yardbird Suite. I know the song well and can improvise to it well enough too (at least I don't get lost in the changes
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Now for what happened: As the moment of my debut neared I got more and more nervous.
There were appr. 35 people in the audience, most of whom I've never seen before at that particular session (probably because the regular band was away and the fill-in session leader brought his own crowd).
When the moment was finally there I felt like running away, even though I really wanted to play!
I got to play with a double bass player and a pianist. Nice guys. Good musicians too.
To cut a long story short: I didn't play very well! Even the head I played shaky. I was that nervous!
I layed out a lot, which is not a bad thing in itself, but never felt like I was enjoying myself.
It all sounded weird too (at home I don't have a piano player and a bass player accompanying me).
I could hear myself well, but through a haze of pumping blood. I couldn't focus on either the other guys or my own playing.
The comping went well enough, but every single line I played, the head, my solo, if it sounded just like it felt it must have been painful to listen to...I certainly didn't make a very good first impression.
I felt terrible afterwards, but it did make me want to practice even harder. Good thing I suppose.
I plan to play at that session very soon again, so I may get used to it. Get up on that horse again so to speak. As I said the audience was also a different audience than regular, so I may have screwed up my reputation with them but I feel like I have a second chance
I just want to feel more relaxed and be able to enjoy making music with others, not minding the audience so much. They're an easy bunch anyway at those jams. I know I can't play jazz at a very high level yet, but I can do much better than I did last Friday, were it not for those wrecking nerves
How do you guys handle this?Last edited by Pukka-J; 12-09-2013 at 04:26 AM.
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12-09-2013 04:14 AM
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Aw geez Pukka, don't worry about it. everyone has been there. I feel for you. If you haven't read "effortless mastery" by Kenny Werner, I highly recommend it. Lots if good advice on performance anxiety in there.
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Thanks for the book suggestion!
Funny thing is that I can't remember feeling like that when I played classical, not am I very nervous when I play with a band. But this jazz thing...
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gigs,gigs,gigs....
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My experience has been the only way to get around this is gigs... No intellectual meditational stuffs will cure performance anxiety. I do also recommend taking an "over-the-counter" herbal remedy called Rescue Remedy to calm the nerves. I am pretty convinced most professional performers take something - legal or illegal. But NEVER use drugs or alcohol.
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I had my very first performance a few days ago. My improv instructor called me Monday morning to ask if I could play the student recital Tuesday night. Told him I would be there, but once I got off the phone, I was all like, "hell, what have I done?". Chickened out at literally the last minute (supposed to be there at 6:30 pm, called to no-show at 6:30) but my instructor came and picked me up. Long story short, we played some blues in Bb and had a good time with the set. Best of all, this cutie from Voice I approached me afterwards for some guitar lessons (and, hopefully, more
)
Point is, don't let the fear of failure cause you to miss out on a potential victory (and some booty). Even if you flop, at least you got a workout.
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Also, the best advice I ever got in regards to performing is to play what you know. Don't worry about trying to be a jazz master, just play what you know. The reason we get fearful and anxious about certain situations is because we're too focused on factors beyond our control. When I played my first performance, even though my blues chops suck, I played the best suckiest blues solo I had. IDGAF what some bald, middle-aged jazzdork though that night, my Bb pentatonic scale was on point--f'ck him and his male pattern baldness. Shieeet, I can't wait to get back on stage and play some more sucky blues lines. Do it enough times and maybe my licks and chops won't suck anymore.
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Thanks for the heads up guys! I'm definitely going back on that stand again and this time I'll play 2 or 3 songs. Maybe that gives me a little more time to settle down on that stage.
Someone above mentioned 'fear of failure'. I suppose it has a lot to do with that. I know I'm only a beginner jazzist, but perhaps I still expect to much of me. It is really annoying though to even screw up that simple Yardbird head (in a nice slow Sonny Stitt kinda way at that!) that I can literally play with my eyes closed...at home that is.
Regarding alcohol and such...nah, I ain't a drinker and I have to drive home too, so it's still water for me :-)
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I just spoke to someone who was there last Friday. He was very supportive and said: "Well, one thing you do very well is knowing when not to play. In fact, you did that very well until last Friday"
After that he invited me back on stage next time he's there.
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Another thing: I concur with the "play what you know" approach. Don't feel like you have to prove anything to anyone, or show off your latest hip lick. In fact, don't play anything you've just been practicing. That's a recipe for disaster in my experience. Just be yourself, and let the music flow out of you. As esoteric as that may sound, it is the most stress free and easiest way to play.
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Pukka I know this feeling well. I have a couple of thoughts about it. First is something I think I got from Kenny Werner he said something along the lines of, "what a skydiver feels as excitement, a secertary calls nervous". I took that to mean that the adrenaline rush that our bodies produce naturally to help us is just that a built in response to stimuli from the good ol' nervous/lymphatic system. If I attach a "meaning" to this physical reaction I will most likely say I'm nervous, scared etc. If I simply observe the physical sensation I can be grateful for the extra energy my body is presenting me to do an awesome job. Second...an antidote to nervousness for me is to remind myself of how un-important this event is in the big picture...I'm not operating on someone's brain, I'm not tryin to land a jumbo jet, no one's life is on the line and as important as this is to me in the big picture it dosn't even register a small blip. Third in any performance situation slowing down, taking control of adjusting the amp,guitar etc. speaking to the audience all in a very slow deliberate method using all the adrenaline energy in a slow,deliberate focused manner helps me. Fourth is 300 gigs or there abouts. I hve succesfully convinced myself that I no longer get nervous...now I just get excited. Good luck and keep doing your thing it gets easier and eventually becomes a LOT of Fun!!!!!!!!
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A short story for the OP . . (I love telling stories)
On my very first gig . . . ever, I got the worst case of stage fright imaginable. No puking back stage or anything like that . . . but, I just couldn't go through with it. I knew I was a real good singer. But, I also knew I was not yet ready for prime time as a guitar player. I had just started studying guitar about 6 or 8 months earlier. I saw an ad posted on the wall of a music shop that read something to the effect of . . "Wanted, lead singer with some guitar playing ability". I figured, "what the hell?? . . . I'll give them a call". Turned out to be a drummer and a bass player. The bass player was also a kick ass guitar player.
We started rehearsals and It went much better than I though it would. The songs were simple enough rock, and rock n roll songs of the day . . 1975-ish. Then, I get a call from the drummer. He lined up a gig. I said . . "are you crazy? I'm not ready for that." He assured me . . "don't worry . . you'll be fine". I had a 1970 black beauty Les Paul Custom that I'd bought about a month earlier from a neighbor. A really good guitarist who had worked in a touring band. He had a change of direction and left the band to become an actor. So, here I am at my first ever gig as a guitar player . . in a 3 piece rock band with no other chord instruments to hide behind . . with the great Johnny B.'s Les Paul Custom . . looking out at an ugly New Jersey bar room audience whom I just knew was expecting great things from the band. If I wasn't so concerned about "stinking up the joint" literally . . as I was about "stinking up the joint" figuratively . . . I'd have probably shit my pants! Then, to make matters even worse . . . in walks the great Johnny B. "What the hell are you doin' here???" My wife told him about the gig and where it was at. He jokingly said to me . . "I'm here to make sure you don't do an injustice to my guitar."
Well . . that pretty much did it for me. I'm definitely not going to defile myself in the presence of Johnny B.!! Right before our first song, I reached behind my amp . . took hold of the fuse and loostened it just enough so that it wouldn't make contact. "Oh, heck man . . my amp is broke. We can't play tonight". The bass player said to me . . "Just plug into my amp . . we can both play out of it." "No, man . . that's not gonna work for me." The drummer looked at me and smirked. Then, Johnny B. jumps up on stage and says . . "let me have a look at it. Ah Ha! Here's your problem . . a loose fuse." Johnny knows what's going on in my mind. He says to me .. "Here . . let me have the guitar and give it a test for you." He turns to the drummer and the bass player . . calls out 2 songs . . they nod . . the drummer counts off the first tune and Johnny rocks the house down. The audience loves it. He then says to the audience . . "Thanks . . I've got to run now . . but, please give my friend (me) a warm welcome. He's kinda new to the stage . . but, I'm sure he'll do his best for you." With that, Johnny B. hands me the guitar, and says to me in a voice low enough for only me to hear him . . and with daggers in his eyes . . "Occupy your spot on the stage or get the fuck off of it . . . and give me back my guitar!!!"
We finished the gig. I played . . adequately. I've never had stage fright again after that evening.
Later in the week, Johnny stopped over at my apartment and asked about the rest of the gig. We had a good laugh. He told me of an experience he had as he was studying acting in New York City. His class was paid a surprise visit from Ertha Kitt. She was asked if she ever got stage fright when performing live. She said jokingly . . "only EVERY single night." She then went on to say that she would always find a way to turn her nervousness into charisma . . and that the nervousness went away the very moment she spoke or sang her first words. I never forgot that. For many years after that . . . on the very first song, of the very fist night at a new venue . . I felt the nerves. However, as soon as my drummer counted off that first song on his sticks . . the nerves disappeared and I felt as though I owned the stage. Nowadays . . I do a good amount of public speaking. My approach is exactly the same.
My advice to anyone with stage fright . . initiate an interaction with the audience. Speak with them . . not to them. How many times have you heard the hip hop performers and the country performers start their evening off with . . . "How ya'll doin' tonight?"? Do you think they really care how anyone is doin' tonight??
Whether you're a side man . . or a front man . . "Occupy your spot on the stage or get the fuck off of it".Last edited by Patrick2; 12-09-2013 at 10:27 PM. Reason: spelling
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The less than perfect conditions the OP described (can't hear, other players are distracting, adrenaline rush) are the norm for many gigs. Lots of guys can play well at home, but it really is harder to play out and that's what separates the amateurs from the pros.
When I get in an intimidating situation, I tell myself to play simply. No one ever complained about a guitar player playing too few notes!
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[QUOTE=Gilpy;382693]The less than perfect conditions the OP described (can't hear, other players are distracting, adrenaline rush) are the norm for many gigs. Lots of guys can play well at home, but it really is harder to play out and that's what separates the amateurs from the pros.
When I get in an intimidating situation, I tell myself to play simply.
HA!! Wanna bet?? Just research a few of the past Jim Hall threads here on this forum. lololol I've told this story before. . about an interview that Jim Hall once gave. He was at an awards ceremony. Emily Remler was there too. She jokingly said the him . . "What are you getting an award for . . . fewest notes in a solo??" Jim was good natured enough to say that they both had a good chuckle over the comment.No one ever complained about a guitar player playing too few notes!
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Patrick, great story. I chuckled in the bus while reading it. Thanks!
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Patrick, great story, inspiring too! I'll go practice some more and then occupjy my space on that stage.
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I have limited experience playing music live, but I have a lot of experience addressing large audiences. I always proceed as though I were talking to one person and that is always enough to make everything work out fine. Not sure if that helps, but there it is.
Last edited by jster; 12-09-2013 at 10:28 PM.
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Well, that's the funny thing: I also regularly address largish audiences and I'm never feeling even the slightest anxiety... That's why I'm so shaken by this. Oh well... lots of comforting stories here. Thanks guys!
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I've played jazz bass for about forty years. I'm OK. I don't worry about it.
Over almost that entire forty years I have screwed around with guitar, hanging out with some fine players but not putting any serious mind to playing. Only over the last two years or so have I really tried to work on guitar playing.
Here I am at The Local Buzz, playing songs I've played for decades . . . scared witless. THAT'S WHY I'M DOING IT, gang. If I'm playing the bass, I had better deliver forty years of bass. But by standing up as a beginner guitarist I have given myself permission to totally suck. I'm there to rediscover how that feels and how much fun it is to feel that way.
Embrace the suckage. Enjoy the fear. This is your gift at this moment -- this is what you have to offer people. Don't hide it and don't sweat it -- the sun will set in the West tonight even if you do play the wrong note.
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"Embrace the suckage." Thanks Sam, I was looking for a new motto.
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its a bit puzzling to me that you were nervous if you've been a classical pro for a long time. classical standards are as a high as they get. they say that its what you know about yourself that scares you the most. sounds like you "psyched yourself out". or maybe you're just not ready? when you think you are, play in front of someone first.
here's what I do, especially if I can't rehearse in the venue itself.
Enlist a friend or family member. Tell them to position themselves right in front of you and stare right at you in a judgmental way the whole damn time. Since its jazz you might also tell them to talk or yell out now and then. Then play.
At first you will probably be distracted and will eff up. Then try it again and again until you are unshakable and just don't give a shit about who is around or what they're doing. If you can't go through this with a performance you're happy with - you're probably not ready.
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Hi Sam, true words. Let's see if they work for me too.
@fumbles: perhaps it's because jazz shows more 'me' than clausule pieces and also perhaps there was indeed doubt in my subconscious whether I was ready...
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Well you were clearly out of your element (classical guitar) on a band stand performing jazz guitar. Thus the anxiety. You are clearly in your element on a band stand performing classical guitar . . or in a public speaking situation. Thus the absence of any anxiety. Not so unusual. I'd bet you a cup of Starbucks that the next time you do a jazz guitar sit in . . there'll be a lot less anxiety.
Originally Posted by Pukka-J
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Today I spoke to my teacher and he had an interesting take on it; he thinks I may have prepared to much and may have had to high expectations. He always emphasizes the difference between studying and playing. What you study does not immediately, or even in the same form, come out when you play. So according to him I may have been studying to hard and expected it all to come out shortly after on that bandstand. Which of course it didn't.
I most certainly can relate to that analyses.
He also stated it was a good thing this has happened, since this may have opened the door for further gigs with more realistic expectations, thus more relaxing and enjoyable.
He also advised me to take my own amp.
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