Thank you for all the input.
First, I want to explain that I had my terminology wrong. I meant sub, or freelancer - not "sit-in." I'm 33 years old have have only been gigging professionally for 3 years, so please excuse my ignorance.
Mainly, I wanted to get an idea of the average reasonable amount to pay a freelancer. Because then I could say "That gig doesn't pay enough to invite anyone, let's do it as a trio." Or, conversely, "This gig pays enough to cover expenses, get paid, and add a guest soloist or singer to liven up our set."
A sub should get the same or more than the person they are replacing - that is clear.
But this thread made me realize that the main issue I am dealing with is more about the business model of the band, and how it is changing. As RonJazz explained above, he has a formula to account for the management of the band, and that's what I need to do as well.
Basically, our core is a gypsy jazz trio: rhythm, lead, bass. I play rhythm and take care of all the booking, contracts, PR, social media, and marketing (I'll be damned if I don't get a cut for dealing with the "wedding party"
). The lead player is the band leader and picks the songs, brings the charts, owns the LLC, and does recording and production for us. The bass player... well... he runs sound when we bring our own PA, but he's also the only upright player we know, which means we don't get the gig without him.
Our other two regular members just come to weekly rehearsals, and play the gigs. Until recently, I have been paying out 100% evenly. Mainly, yes, because many times there is not enough money to do anything else. But we are getting better and better gigs, and I want the trio to be getting a bigger cut, because of all the extra time and effort we put into it. I want to find a model that is fair for both the core members, and anyone who ends up playing with us. And I also want to fit in a band fund for gear and studio time.
Ronjazz's model is really close to what I am starting to do, except for him it's 2 people taking the bigger cut, and we have 3 people who fit that category.
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